avoidance
The Hidden Costs of Avoidance: How It Magnifies Our Suffering
Avoidance seems a safe bet for our problems. Yet, the true cost lies beneath the surface.
By avoiding discomfort, we unwittingly increase the very suffering we hope to escape.
Like a shadow that grows longer as the sun sets, avoidance stretches unresolved issues, presenting a larger gloom over our lives.
It’s a paradox where the less we face, the more we fear.
Each step taken away from our challenges is a step into a smaller world.
There is a great verse in the Bible that challenges us to, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…”
Here, if we avoid the trials, possibilities shrink, and personal growth stalls.
Should we count them as joy then the possibilities expand, and your growth accelerates.
The art lies in confronting trials head-on knowing the very thing we dread is the rep we need to grow.
"Avoidance costs more than we think and pays less than we hope." -Mike Brewer Share on XEmbracing this can transform avoidance from a burden into a pathway of resilience.
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The Hidden Cost of Avoidance: A Deeper Look into Suffering
Avoidance often appears as an escape from unpleasant realities. Yet, it prolongs suffering.
When we sidestep challenges, confrontations, or painful feelings, we inadvertently feed them. The temporary relief masks an accumulating burden.
Embracing discomfort, rather than fleeing it, leads to a resilient character.
We forge courage and develop the capacity to overcome even more significant obstacles through facing our fears and discomforts.
"Turning away from difficulty is like skipping chapters in a book. You may avoid some pain, but you'll miss the lessons and growth." – Mike Brewer Share on XThe path to personal development and enduring happiness lies not in avoidance but in courageous engagement with life.
By leaning into what scares us, we crush its power over us, turning potential suffering into a source of strength.
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Multifamily Monday: Integrity
Remember the scene from Almost Famous where Penny and William talk about how old they are? It went like this:
Penny Lane: How old are you?
William Miller: Eighteen.
Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
William Miller: Seventeen.
Penny Lane: Me too!
William Miller: Actually, Im sixteen.
Penny Lane: Me too. Isnt it funny?
The truth just sounds different.
William Miller: Im fifteen.
Truth Just Sounds Different
Here's a real-life example from a commercial eviction case in St. Louis: Our client had racked up $8,000 in legal fees without realizing it, focusing on the eviction rather than the cost. This is a reminder to keep track of expenses, especially when using someone else's money for legal action. It can be difficult, but honesty and transparency are crucial for finding the most liberating solution."
Moment of Truth
I received an invoice in the mail reading $5,000+/- so I picked up the phone and called our attorney. I think the conversation started with a loud "$5,000+/-??!! - Can you tell me how we racked up this much?" or, something to that effect. "Well, Mike, I hope you are setting down because the real number is $8,000, you just have part of the picture." Enter - fear and moment of truth. I had to tell my owner that I dropped $8k and after further discussion with my attorney - we had little to no chance of winning.
It Does Sound Different
Fear in tow, I entered his office and asked for a minute of his time. Clear throat - I dropped $8k on an attorney and we have no chance of winning the case. Long pause - (I was taught to never fill the silence with noise). He got up asked me to bring the whole package into the conference room. I did and he entered the room to review.
Fast forward, the owner says, "Consider this an $8,000 education for both you and me." I went silent and reflected for a minute - thinking I had maybe misquoted the amount lost. I was expecting much more of a tongue lashing (professional, of course) but much more intense. But, to him, it really was an education. And, for me in that moment - the truth just sounded different.
Never Hesitate
Honesty and Integrity - if we are all truthful with ourselves - is the hardest character related trait we will contend with. It's easy to misrepresent. It's easy to deflect. It's easy to avoid. Both Honesty and Integrity are hard work but they are the best work you will ever do. Do both today...
Your believing that the truth just sounds different multifamily maniac,
M
