Look at all the lonely people, where do they all come from? Eleanor Rigby’s sad tale was immortalized in the famous Beatles medley. Eleanor was lonely – but she was far from alone. Loneliness was a problem long before the pandemic. It’s a bigger one now. Leadership is a position of hallowed trust in service of others. As such, it is our responsibility to act mindfully and intentionally to help bridge the literal and metaphorical gap.
Former surgeon general of the United States, Dr. Vivek Murthy writes about loneliness as a public health concern in his book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World He writes about the anecdotes shared by the people he encountered in his work across the country. Beneath their stories of addiction, violence, depression, and anxiety lived a common thread of loneliness. Dr. Murthy says that when he spoke to groups, he would touch on the topic of loneliness very briefly but afterward, it was the only thing people wanted to talk about.
Owner Of A Lonely Heart
A brief web search quickly reveals longstanding concerns about the widespread problem of loneliness. The actual number of adults affected by loneliness is hard to quantify but Dr. Murthy estimates it to be at least 20% based on survey responses. Covid has certainly made the number higher. Why does it matter? Loneliness is more than a feeling. When people experience extended loneliness, it has an impact on their health and can even shorten lifespans.
Adolescents, a demographic that often struggled with loneliness pre-pandemic, are affected more profoundly. Coming of age in an era where traditional peer-to-peer experiences are stunted by pandemic-related restrictions increases the feeling of isolation. Prolonged or profound loneliness is having a detrimental effect on emotional and psychological wellbeing.
Only The Lonely
At the root of loneliness is the fraying of social connectivity. When it comes to an organization’s culture, it is our responsibility to design systems where people are connected and empowered to feel active, participatory and heard. Human-to-human interaction is necessary to create and sustain authentic relationships.
The current work from home model can provide many benefits to the individual team members who work remotely. Gaining back hours every week that were previously devoted to commuting often tops the list. But video conference calls with multiple faces on the screen aren’t a replacement for one on one or small group conversations. Since the beginning of the pandemic two years ago, brief chats around the coffee station and similar work-life touchpoints have dissolved, taking with them the casual connectivity with workmates.
People Who Need People
I believe that many companies will evolve back to a hybrid model that combines remote and common space/corporate work in a way that responsibly connects teams around shared work and camaraderie. Periodic in-person sessions build and strengthen relationships and lay the foundation for healthier remote connections.
It can be uncomfortable to admit to feeling lonely. It feels vulnerable to say it but when we normalize talking about feelings, we give permission for others to share, and in those experiences that are common to us all we find support and solidarity.
I encourage you to get intentional about engaging and connecting team members across your organization. Build it into your calendar. We discussed this topic last year along with some tips for getting started.
What things have you incorporated into your practices and systems the improve social connectivity? Share them with us below!
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