In 1933, Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke to the nation in his first inaugural address including this powerful statement; “…let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance”. Those sentiments stand the test of time even today.
Fear is common to all humans and most animals (apparently apart from the honey badger).
Hard Wired
Thousands of years ago, humans were wired with the fear response as it was critical to the survival of our species in a world filled with dangers. The fear response prepares the body to fight, flight or freeze. It also triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin.
Fear is often more anticipatory than reactive. In Letters from a Stoic, first-century Stoic Philosopher Seneca wrote: “There are more things…likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more in imagination than in reality.” We worry over things that could happen even when there is no immediate threat to our wellbeing – but the body doesn’t know the difference. Fear related to public speaking, dreaded conversations or confrontations, fear of failure (or success), and even fear of spiders and snakes all send a signal to the brain to release those chemicals even without the actual presence of danger. The experience of feeling fear is real even when the feared event is not.
Protection or Isolation?
In response to anxious thoughts, humans tend to create systems of rules or boundaries as a hedge of protection against experiencing the feeling of fear or anxiety. Over time, those well-intentioned boundaries can devolve into a cage that prevents personal growth and life experiences. In some cases, a person becomes held hostage by a web of fears that all derive from the stories they tell themselves about the possibility of the feared event.
The good news is that a powerful prescriptive exists – it is free and readily available.
Take Action!
That’s right – action is the best medicine. Use the fear impulse as a catalyst for action and choose to run directly at the thing you fear. Begin with simply making a choice.
- Confess your fear to someone you trust and ask them to hold you accountable as you commit to trying the things you fear. Just the act of sharing relieves some of the fear-filled weight.
- Afraid of failure? Fail. A lot. Fail again and again until the sting of failure is lessened, and the successes begin to outweigh the failures.
- Fear of public speaking? Sign up for an open mic, volunteer to speak at a company meeting or an industry function. Do it even with knees shaking, voice quivering, and a sheen of sweat on your brow. Stand up to the fear by taking action to do the thing that scares you.
- Put in the reps. By doing the thing you fear over and over, you gain confidence, experience, and skill.
- Let go of perfection as the benchmark. If you only define success as having performed perfectly, then failure is assured. Assign engagement and progress as success markers and build on those foundations instead.
Fear Less
Conquering fears is not accomplished in one fell swoop. If the thought feels overwhelming, know that it is not necessary to become instantly fearless – but just to fear (a little) less – just enough less to allow you to take the next step. Small steps lead to bigger steps and eventually to a life less encumbered by fear. Taking concrete action such as setting an appointment, replying yes to an rsvp, or signing up for a class all signal courage to your psyche. Following through on those commitments builds success on top of success. There may be plenty of fits and starts along the way, each of which teaches you that failure is not the end but simply a building block for your next success.
This quote attributed to Robert Tew hits the mark. “Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.”
The daily videos of my blog (fka Apartment Hacker) started with this gem in 2016. One take. No edits. Authentic.
There are countless opportunities to actively engage in the things you fear. Just get started.
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