multifamily
Are You Making or Missing Connections
There was an intense storm last night and for a while, our electricity was out. Somewhere between our house and the big electric grid, the connection was interrupted. It also tripped a breaker in my house, a connection that thankfully I could restore. It caused me to think about the power of making and missing connections.
If you happen to flip through the free newspaper in a local coffee shop, you might come across the Missed Connections section. These small personal ads range from the modestly hopeful to the cringe-inducingly awful all because someone noticed an intriguing other but was too shy or too distracted to seize the opportunity and engage in the moment. Some other missed connections come to mind. Think – weather-delayed flights and impromptu sleepovers in an airport lounge or nearby hotel while you wait for another option and hopefully make it to wherever you were going in time.
I find the flipside of this topic more intriguing. The act of deliberately making connections. It is almost always within reach if you stretch beyond your comfort zone and get intentional about it. By definition, intentional is no more complicated than simply acting on purpose – being deliberate. Every day offers endless opportunities to make purposeful connections. Taking an extra beat to make the moment in front of you come alive with intention.
My recent Collective Conversations guest, Gary Gregory calls them transformational moments versus transactional ones. (His anecdote about his father washing the dishes is worth the listen alone!) Saying “Have a nice day” to the grocery clerk is often so rote that it loses its meaning. But stopping, calling them by name, and genuinely asking, “How are you? Thank you for the care you take in your work. I hope you have a good day.” It takes six seconds longer but acknowledges the human behind the task and hopefully leaves the clerk feeling seen and appreciated for their often thankless, or even invisible, work. The clerk spends hours of their life in our service. You have the power to deliberately engage with gratitude and recognition that the work matters.
Similarly, when our team members walk the property and engage with residents sincerely and deliberately, the benefits are hard to quantify but you can bet they are worth more than the time spent. When residents feel seen, heard, and appreciated, the payback comes in the form of reputation and retention. Phones down. Eyes up. There is a world of opportunities for connection just waiting for you to deliberately engage.
Leaders set the standard for connecting the dots. One of the biggest missed connections is in the failure to give the why behind the what. No involvement = no commitment. Giving out a list of to-dos or setting a stretch goal without fully explaining the purpose behind the request is a huge, missed opportunity. Team members work smarter and harder for an agenda they understand, contribute to, and believe in. Without purpose, work devolves into an uninspiring grind.
How much discretionary effort would you put into something that you didn’t believe in or understand? See what I mean? That is a missed connection that no business can afford, and it costs nothing but intentional action to fix.
What are your missed connections stories? I invite you to share them below.
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Episode 10 | Collective Conversations | Kristi Fickert
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Start Spreading the News
A glance at the news this week is quickly overwhelming. For the first time ever, federal officials declared a water shortage at Lake Mead, a water reservoir located on the Colorado River. The Taliban seized control of Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan with a population of about five million people. The US reported more than 900,000 COVID-19 cases last week, bringing the US total to more than 36.8 million cases and 622,058 deaths. Haiti was hit by 7.2-magnitude earthquake with more than 1400 deaths thus far. Wildfires ravage California and Utah as thousands are forced to evacuate. In the face of so many major events, what is a well-intentioned person to do?
It is easy to feel helpless with so many catastrophic events piled one on top of the other, breathtaking in their speed and enormity. The innate desire to alleviate human suffering is part of our humanity. Decision paralysis often occurs in the face of too many options. We can begin to feel that our small contributions aren’t likely to make any impact on such monumental problems. There are some steps we can take to manage feelings about these events and to help us prioritize when and where to give our time and resources.
The first is simple and difficult – regulate your consumption of media. In the not so distant past, the timing of major news was controlled by the television schedule. Today it is up to the individual to create real boundaries about when, how, and in what ways to consume news. Continuously checking your device for updates throughout the day doesn’t materially change the catastrophic event, but it fuels your feelings in a way that can cause more harm than good.
Making financial contributions is one way to influence better outcomes for people in need. Every social media thread is populated with requests to donate to countless charities from small community events to large international relief funds. Some are personal calls to help support a cause close to home while others are far-ranging but equally compelling. Some needs are immediate others are long-term. Where does a big-hearted human start? Check in with charity recommenders such as GiveWell or Charity Navigator to learn more about each organization, what percentage of your contribution goes to direct relief vs administrative overhead, etc. Decide on your priorities for charitable giving and choose organizations that align with them. Maybe consider giving money directly to those in need when you feel compelled to do so.
What does all this have to do with the world of Multifamily Collective? People are at the heart of what we do. Our team members, our residents, and our leaders each carry around their own strong feelings related to the many needs around us. It is easy to succumb to it all, but a little perspective and distraction goes a long way.
With all the heaviness around the world, I feel especially struck by an old favorite of mine: The Guest House by Rumi.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
My final encouragement today is that you give generously to others and also to yourselves that you may have some fuel yet left in your tank to give another day.
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2FA – Who We Say We Are
As we approach the twentieth anniversary of 9/11, it is impossible to overstate one event’s changes in terms of security. Remember the days when you could meet a traveler at the gate? When there was no 3oz limit or quart size Ziploc bag as part of the airport process? Me, too.
The marriage of security and technology has upped the ante even further. Passwords, thumbprint, facial recognition – it all seems like we might be living in a rather mundane James Bond film – minus the Bond guy, of course. For every new layer of security, bad actors are seeking out ways to undermine them. Enter two-factor (2FA) or multi-factor (MFA) authentication methods. Designed to grant access to a website or application only after the user successfully presents two or more pieces of evidence (factors) to an authentication mechanism – proving that we are who we say we are. For example: Want to log in to your bank account? You will need your password, followed by a one-time code sent to your cell phone or email. This extra layer protects your info even if someone has managed to steal your password. Annoying? Sometimes. Necessary? Increasingly so.
Beyond technological security, two-factor authentication brings to my mind who we are as individuals and the unique work we produce. Every team member comes equipped with their specific knowledge, experience, and training coupled with their character, ambition, and commitment. As businesses, we are responsible for creating environments that support the people who offer their labor to pursue our business venture. These two authentication factors represent the self and the work. When these two factors are in alignment – when we as individuals and as organizations are who we say we are – then the result of our labor is a better outcome for our customers, partners, and each other.
We have a calling to ask the same question of ourselves as individuals and as leaders – Are we who we say we are?
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One Small Thing
From the moment expectant parents see the positive pregnancy test, they begin to imagine who their child might be. Fewer times are more fraught with hope and joy mixed with nerves over the many unknowns. When a pregnant woman is referred to Dr. Nicolaides, it is never a good sign, and hope is rapidly replaced with fear. Dr. Kypros Nicolaides is a world-renown pioneer in the field of fetal surgery whose discoveries have revolutionized the field.
The Netflix docuseries “The Surgeon’s Cut” films several interactions with Dr. Nicolaides as he meets, diagnoses, and performs intrauterine surgeries on the unborn. In one case, the expectant parents listen as the doctor shows them via ultrasound the issues facing their identical twins, neither of which is expected to live more than 1-2 more days due to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. The only hope is to perform a laser fetal surgery procedure immediately. This will give the bigger twin the best chance, however, the doctor patiently and kindly explains that the smaller twin may still not survive.
Could there be a more emotionally loaded situation for expectant parents? Hope to fear – back and forth – and absolutely everything is out of their control. I can only imagine the racing thoughts, increased heart rate, tears, and prayers. The situation feels impossible but as is the case with most parents, there is only one choice – do what it takes to give my babies a chance.
The mother is awake during the procedure. The doctor talks the parents through each step, what to expect, and checks in with them frequently. Do you see? Do you understand? This is what we will do next. This is the tool I am using. After numbing the mother’s abdomen, the doctor does one small thing that changes everything.
He asks the mother to hold the hand of her partner and to hold the doctor’s arm with her other hand. And at that moment, the mother breathes again. She becomes part of the solution. The doctor gives the mother agency in that small gesture. It is as though she is assisting in performing the procedure to save her babies. The doctor continues to include the parents in every step. They trust him not just because he is smart and world-renown, but because he involves them. He sees them. He acknowledges them. The doctor is honest with them.
It seems to me that in the multifamily industry we often connect with people who are in heightened emotional distress. That moment presents the opportunity to do the one small thing that changes everything. To see, to hear, and to acknowledge the honest pain/fear/distress in front of us and to meet it with compassion. From residents to team members, I encourage you to lead with the humility to say to yourself, what is the one small thing I can do such that this person feels seen and heard.
Share your stories with us in the comments below!
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