Emotionally Loaded

Mike Brewer's take on emotionally loaded situationsHandling emotionally loaded situations is a true art form. How many of you have faced┬átalking a customer down from the ledge of – ‘you are getting a piece of my mind?’ How many of those conversations included personal attacks targeted at you or one of your apartment service team members. How many of those comments – right, wrong or indifferent – did you deserve but still stung to the point of escalating your own emotions? How many of you have called the police to get that resident out of the office? How many of you felt all-powerful once that person did leave? How many of you had an emotional crash after an emotionally loaded conversation? How many felt remorse? How many felt vindicated?

It’s Normal

You’ve heard of fight or flight. You know that in an emotionally loaded situation you are pre-programmed to stand up and fight or run away. You are not pre-programmed for reasoning. At least not as far as I see it. Reasoning takes work. It takes time. It takes concession. It takes wherewithal. It takes patience. And it’s normal.

If a flight situation your first order is to run for the hills. Today we focus on the fight.

In a fight (emotionally loaded) situation your first order of business is to teach someone a lesson. You broke your lease so you owe the money – look here at your lease that I’ve highlighted in a nice bright pink color and underlined (for emphasis) three times in red. You owe it. Or, your company is causing all kinds of noise issues after hours – look here at this section of the lease. And so on and so forth. You are out to teach a lesson.

Guess what – in a fight they’re not going to learn the lesson. Not by your method of teaching. Not in this lifetime.

What Do You Do Instead?

It’s the doormat versus the artist conversation.

And I am anxious to hear your position…

Your always interested in the human behavior piece of our business multifamily maniac,


Published by Mike Brewer

Out to put a dent in the multifamily universe. Love compelling conversation...