Search Results for: fear
The Power of Emotions: How Feelings Influence Your Actions
Photo by Domingo Alvarez E on Unsplash
Emotions are an integral part of the human experience, shaping how we perceive the world around us and influencing our choices. They are powerful forces that drive our actions and reactions, often without realizing it. In this time, we will explore the role feelings play in our behavior and how self-awareness and emotional intelligence can help us harness the power of emotions to improve our personal and professional lives.
First, let’s define what emotions are. Emotions are complex psychological states involving thoughts, physical sensations, and behavioral responses. Various internal and external factors, such as thoughts, memories, or external stimuli, trigger them. Emotions can be categorized into positive (e.g., happiness, excitement) and negative (e.g., sadness, anger) emotions, each serving different functions and influencing our behavior differently.
Emotions act as key drivers in our decision-making processes. Neuroscience research has shown that emotions play a significant role in decision-making, and individuals with damage to the emotional centers of their brain struggle with making decisions, even simple ones. Our emotions often serve as a quick and efficient way to evaluate situations and guide our actions.
For instance, fear can help us avoid danger, while happiness can motivate us to pursue activities that bring us joy. When we experience strong emotions, our brains release chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and cortisol, which can directly impact our motivation and subsequent actions.
However, emotions can also lead us astray, causing us to make impulsive decisions or engage in destructive behaviors. For example, anger can lead to aggressive behavior or cloud our judgment, while sadness can result in feelings of helplessness or inaction.
To harness the power of emotions and ensure they serve us well, it’s essential to develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Self-awareness involves being conscious of our emotions, understanding their triggers, and recognizing how they influence our thoughts and actions. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, and manage not only our own emotions but also the emotions of others.
Here are some strategies to help you develop self-awareness and emotional intelligence:
- Practice mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment. This can help you identify patterns in your emotional responses and better understand your emotional triggers. I use Sam Harris’ Waking Up app for my daily practice.
- Reflect on your emotions: Journaling or discussing your feelings with a trusted friend or therapist can help you gain insights into your emotional landscape. Code & Quill is my go to notebook for journaling.
- Develop empathy: Put yourself in others’ shoes and try to understand their emotions and perspectives. This will not only help you manage your own emotions better but also improve your interpersonal relationships.
- Learn emotional regulation techniques: These can include deep breathing, meditation, or cognitive reframing, which help you manage intense emotions and respond in a more constructive manner.
- Seek professional help: If you struggle with emotional management, consider working with a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support. Professional counselors are worth every dime.
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SBI Feedback Model
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Have you ever experienced the anxiety-inducing feeling of butterflies in your stomach before a “moment of truth” conversation with a team member? This feeling is as common as an eight-year-old child dribbling and shooting a basketball with their non-dominant hand. In professional and personal settings, the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) feedback model is widely used as a framework for giving feedback. This model is based on the principle that effective feedback should include a specific description of the situation, feedback on the person’s behavior in that situation, and an explanation of the impact of that behavior.
Reflecting on my experience terminating a team member, I recall intense fear, shaking, sweating, and anxiety. And it gives me the ability to give you a few tips to help you navigate a “moment of truth” conversation.
The SBI model involves the following steps:
First, describe the situation, which provides a clear and specific context for the feedback. Second, provide feedback on the person’s behavior in the situation. This feedback should be specific and focused on observable behaviors. Finally, explain the impact of the person’s behavior on the situation or other people involved. This feedback should be objective and focus on the consequences of the behavior.
Once you complete the first conversation round, go through the model again. This time, replace the bad behavior in step two with the expected behavior and the bad consequence in step three with the new expected consequence.
Following the SBI model, feedback can be delivered in a constructive and non-threatening way.
By focusing on observable behaviors and their impact, the feedback can be specific, actionable, and focused on improving performance or relationships.
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Focus
Photo by Chase Clark on Unsplash
Robert Browning’s quote, “when the fight begins within himself, a man’s worth something,” is a powerful and thought-provoking one that speaks to the strength of the human spirit and determination. It speaks of the importance of self-reflection and inner struggle that leads to growth, progress, and, ultimately, success.
In our daily lives, it’s easy to get caught up in external circumstances and focus on the challenges and obstacles that stand in our way. But it’s essential to remember that true growth and transformation begin from within. The fight that Browning speaks of is not necessarily physical but rather the inner conflict that arises when we confront our fears, limitations, and beliefs. This fight is a necessary step in our personal development, as it challenges us to break free from old patterns and habits that hold us back and embrace new perspectives and opportunities for growth.
The quote also highlights the value of determination and resilience in adversity. When we face challenges and obstacles, it’s easy to surrender to despair. But Browning’s words remind us that the fight within ourselves makes us truly valuable. When we face our inner demons head-on, overcome our fears, and rise above our limitations, we demonstrate our true worth.
The fight within ourselves is not easy, but it is worth it, as it is through this fight that we become the best version of ourselves.
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Embrace the Unknown
Photo by Grant Ritchie on Unsplash
“Nobody knows what they are doing before they do it.” This quote by Will Guidara is a powerful reminder that we all start somewhere and that it’s okay not to have all the answers.
We all have moments of uncertainty when we feel unsure where to go or what to do next. It’s easy to get caught up in fear of failure, which keeps us from pursuing our dreams and goals. But the truth is, nobody knows what they’re doing before they do it. We all must take that first step, even if we’re unsure where it will lead us.
It’s natural to feel a little lost sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. Instead, we should embrace the unknown and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Take a chance on something new, even if you’re unsure how it will turn out. You might be surprised at what you’re capable of achieving.
The road to success is never easy and is certainly not a straight line. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, and plenty of moments when you feel you have no idea what you’re doing. But that’s okay. It’s all a part of the journey.
One thing to remember is that you don’t have to go it alone. Surround yourself with people who support you and who you can learn from. Seek mentors and role models who can offer guidance and advice. And don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. We all need a little support from time to time.
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Who Tells Your Story?
Lance Armstrong is known as a cycling legend and for a few other things which we will get to in a minute. He won the Tour de France seven consecutive times. At just 25 years old, Lance was diagnosed with stage three testicular cancer that had spread to his lymph nodes, lungs, brain, and abdomen. His chances for recovery were abysmal but with world class treatment, he recovered and returned to professional cycling.
The Livestrong Foundation was established in 1997 to provide support for people affected by cancer. It also issued those yellow rubber LIVESTRONG armbands that quickly became ubiquitous. Other charities and events saw the success and low cost of the armbands and they are still in use today around the globe.
If Lance had done nothing else besides being a champion cyclist and a head of the Livestrong Foundation, he would go down in history as a hero. But that is not the whole of his story. Dogged by doping scandals throughout his career, Lance denied ever being involved in doping. He had the ‘clean’ tests to prove it. In 2012, the US Anti-Doping Agency conducted an investigation that concluded that Lance had used performance enhancing drugs throughout his career. He was stripped of his titles, lost his endorsements, and removed from the Livestrong Foundation.
It was a staggering fall from grace. And everyone in the world knew it.
So, what’s next? Should Lance crawl under a rock and never find his way forward again? Is that the punishment for catastrophic failure?
Do we have an expectation that there is no redemption for people who have made bad decisions?
Most of us are fortunate to have avoided such public humiliation. But what about less well-known screw ups? Have you ever been downsized from your job? What about termination for cause – when you were clearly in the wrong? Should that make you unemployable? Forever?
Generally speaking, as potential employers, we make it difficult for prospective employees to tell us the truth. Fearful of lawsuits, former employers stick to the stats – dates of service, position, and salary.
These questions come to mind. Would we rather hear a pretty lie from an applicant instead of the ugly truth? Do we believe that people can learn from their mistakes? How will we know what they learned if we never make it safe to acknowledge what happened? How would you change your interview style to make truth telling safe?
Human beings are fallible. We are also in a constant state of learning and evolving. Maybe it is better to have someone on your team who knows how to learn from their mistakes instead of someone who believes they never make them.
What do you think? Are you scared to hire someone with a less than perfect career history? Share your wisdom with us!
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